happy pill

I am praying to Jesus for a happy pill today. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and haven't gotten enough sleep for awhile. I need God to change my mood and attitude today. I sent the kids downstairs to get a break. I had enough screaming and yelling from them and me. They are happily guarded by a gate and entertained by PBS and all of their toys. Now there is no screaming or yelling. God, please rejuvenate me.

I have way too many things to do this week because we are going out of town on Friday for a week to celebrate Christmas with family in North Dakota. We are all looking forward to it but it is a lot of work to get there. I have Christmas cards to send out and Christmas presents to wrap and Christmas cookies to make. But I still remember that Christmas is really about Christ. I love reading Christmas books to my kids because it helps refocus me. Thank you, Christ, for coming into this world to experience everything we are going through. Thanks for not leaving us alone.

I think it is so funny that my first posted picture is of Taco John's, my husband's favorite restaurant and not mine. Once he found out that I went there without him, he said that he wished he had known that I was Taco John's deprived and he would have taken me there. He said, "Wow, I guess that means we haven't been there for awhile." I said, "It was just the most convenient fast food at the time."

Hopefully more posted pictures will come soon before the week is over.

i love environmentalists

Well, truth is that I don't love environmentalists just for being environmentalists but today I was loved by one environmentalist that made my day. I was going through Taco John's drive through today which never happens without Bryan but it was close to where I was shopping after Jaden's Christmas Program (pictures to come soon). Anyway, I ordered a kids meal and got a Dr. Pepper to drink because the drink was for me. It usually comes in a small styrofoam cup. But when I pulled up to get my food and beverage, the lady handed me a large Dr. Pepper. I politely told her that I didn't order a large drink, thinking that they made a mistake on my order. The kind, older lady at the window then said, "It's ok. I didn't charge you for it. I just have a problem with the styrofoam cup that you are supposed to get because they take so long to degrade..." It made my day and I laughed about it in the car for a good 10 minutes. The kids laughed right along with me thinking I was crazy but it was fun. What made her comments even greater was that you could tell she knew she was breaking the rules and either thought people would think she was crazy or she would get in trouble. It was so cute the way she shyly said it but still did it anyway.

strep

Bryan and I have strep throat. I know I should be sleeping right now but I really wanted to write this in case my family has time to read it. I know that I don't need to right this down because I will remember how traumatic this is. About a year a half ago, Bryan and I, both had strep throat at the same time when Clay was about 3 months old and Jaden was 21 months old. I still remember how difficult that was. It was even harder then but not much easier this time around. We have been dealing with fever, chills, aches and pains, headaches, tummy aches, weakness and the worst sore throat of our lives. I had strep throat when I was younger many times and I never remember it being this bad. It has been way worse as an adult this time and last. The kids are a little easier to take care of now and it did help to have them in daycare on Tuesday but it has been a rough week. There were times we were barely making it by. I am on the upswing now--only dealing with a miserably sore throat still. I learned from the pediatric nurse that kids 3 and under rarely, if ever, get strep so that is good that we have healthy kids despite our illness.

Oh, there was one thing making this worse for me too. On Sunday night I fell down the stairs at Dan & Carol's house while I was holding Clay. I had very slippery socks on and was trying to shove my way through a small opening to get through the door to the stairs because we were really crammed in there. Dan and Carol hosted our small group Christmas dinner together with all of our kids. It was a little bit chaotic but all of the food was delicious. Anyway, I fell and hit my hip really bad and slid down 4 or 5 stairs and wacked my arm pretty good on the railing too. I did hear a scary snap from Clay when we dropped and we think it was just him biting his tongue, which did bleed a lot while he was crying from the scare. I managed to hold onto him tight and not drop him to fall down another 10 steps so that was good because it could have been worse. I am pretty banged up and have the biggest bruise ever on my left hip. I think falling down the stairs on Sunday night made having strep on Monday much worse because my aches and pains came from two different sources.

Ok, enough complaining, or sharing as I like to call it. I need to get sleep and recover.

merry christmas to me

Ok, I just have to write some more.

Last night I got my spur of the moment Christmas present. Bryan and I decided to go a performance by the Russian Ballet, The Nutcracker, at Mayo Civic Center in Rochester. It wasn't in a beautiful theater nor did it have a live orchestra, which would have both made it better, but the ballet was beautiful and made me a very happy wife. We have very little spontaneity in our lives but last night was great. We ate some great Italian food at Victoria's and then headed to the ballet while our kids were at home with our favorite babysitter, Christen Murphy. We didn't have small group last night because we take the first Thursday to have date nights with our spouses. That is just one of the things I love about our small group. The ballet tickets turned out to be my Christmas present because I would much rather have an experience than a physical item as a gift, especially from my husband.

This was a highly unusual week because we actually have had two dates this week. On Sunday we went out to dinner after we met with some other small group leaders that afternoon. The date ended early because our kids weren't feeling so well but it was still a great meal together.

I love weeks with two dates nights because I can't seem to get enough time with Bryan. That only happens a couple of times per year but I will take it when I can get it. I don't like the months that go by with only one date night. That happens way too often. I love dates with my husband!

life is still moving on

Things just keep happening that I want to write down but I really don't have enough time to do it.

I have blog envy of all those people that are able to put pictures up on their blogs. Anyway, I can't decide what to do. Either I post pictures on my blog or I post them on picasa and I am used to posting most of my pics on picasa so I am not ready to switch.

Kids are napping and I am not today. I have been needing naps when they do because I haven't been sleeping well. It is mostly my fault because I am terrible about going to bed at a decent time. The kids have also not been sleeping well because of some wierd virus, maybe hand-foot-mouth. They have wierd rashes but they are both getting better now. I also have been getting over another cold.

So much stuff that I want to do but I need to find focus. I need to get a few things done but I really want to get out and play in the snow with the boys. It has snowed here 4 significant times of at least an inch with about 4 inches last Saturday. We have about a foot of snow on our deck that drifts up to almost 2 feet and I can't wait to play with the boys in it. We are all geared up with new boots and all the rest of the essentials. If they boys wakeup early enough today from naps then we will get some snow time. Here is hoping that they wake up happy but don't sleep too long. It just gets dark so early here.

Ok, I really have to focus and get some other things done now even though I could write all day.

love my kids

Not sure why it is that I love my kids so much more when I get a break from them but that is really the way it is for me. Last night I was gone to our couples small group and when I returned to my two sleeping beauties (I think I can still call them that even though they are boys), I just wanted to watch them sleep a little while. Their peaceful sleeping made me think of all the things that I love about them. I also have so much more tolerance and understanding for them just being kids when I have a break from them. I probably need more breaks from my kids than most stay at home moms but I don't mind admitting that. I would like to think part of that is because Bryan works long hours and frequently overnight at the hospital. I think even if he didn't work long hours, I would still need lots of breaks from the kids. Well, thank goodness for finding reasons to take breaks from my kids. Last night it was my couples group. Tonight it was a baby shower. Other nights I take breaks to scrapbook. Gotta love those breaks from my kids. I love my boys more when I return and appreciate them more for who God made them to be. Tomorrow I will be with them all day until a break from them while at church--that is if it doesn't snow too much! Everyday should include a little break from my kids in a perfect world. I guess that is why small children take naps. Wow, I do love naps for them and for me. Need to go take a long nap as Jaden would call it--bedtime.

reminder

Someone reminded me tonight of the best thing about my kids. Thank God for people that are brave enough to ask, "What do you love most about your kids?" There is nothing I love more about my boys than to watch them make each other laugh. I can't help but smile and think I am blessed. They like to tickle each other and that belly laugh just comes out. They can hardly contain their happiness. I really need to get that on video to remind me of the good times of when they were this little. I would like to think I won't soon forget this but I am sure I will. Memories fade and I have to work to get them to stick. I can easily replay it in my head now but soon it will be hard to recall the details and the expressions on their faces. Laugh on, boys!

my husband is awesome!

Bryan surprised me with tickets to the CD release concert for Sara Groves (my favorite musician) for Saturday night (11/17/07). He arranged for a babysitter and ordered tickets without me knowing but the biggest deal of all was that he got a coworker to cover him for 6 hours while he was supposed to be on call working at the hospital Saturday night so that he could go with me to the concert in Minneapolis. He really did all that for me, not himself, even though he likes Sara Groves too. I know it was a lot of work and was not at all convenient for him. It is a great reminder to me of how much he loves me and that he would go to the ends of the earth for me if he needed to or if I needed him to. He is always there when I need him. I know he isn't always there when I want him but he doesn't let me down when it is important. This time it wasn't even critical to life, he just really wanted to make me happy and he sure did! I love you, Bryan! You made my year!

big day

Today was a big day in my career as an aerospace engineer. No, I don't have a job yet but I did post my resume and cover letter to 24 jobs online for 5 aerospace companies in the Minneapolis area. Three of those jobs are dream jobs in other locations just for fun. One is in the LA area and the other two are in Houston.

I still have 4 more companies that I know of to go. I am sure I will keep finding more jobs to apply to but it feels really good to have a big start on things finally.

Bee movie

The boys and I had a blast going to a movie in the theater tonight. Mayo sponsored a free movie with free popcorn and drinks for the residents and fellows families tonight. Bryan had to work so I braved it on my own with the two boys. We saw a Bee Movie and it was hilariously. I laughed at the movie but got even more enjoyment out of watching Jaden and Clay's reaction to the movie. They frequently laughed out loud and pointed to the screen. It was just great to see a movie through their eyes a little bit. I wasn't planning on them making it through the hour and half movie because they never sit still for movies unless they are strapped into a carseat. However, we did see the entire movie, except a few minutes when Jaden asked to go to the bathroom (hallelujah!). Of course my boys weren't the quietest ones in the theater and at one point, an hour and 15 minutes into it, we had to get out of our row because Clay couldn't stay still and then both of them started to cry. They were fine once they could be mobile in the aisle to the doorway where we watched the last 15 minutes of the movie. We ended up staying up way past bed time and it was quite difficult getting them to the van, especially Jaden, but all in all it was a fun outing. I would do it again but probably not in the next week. Oh, on the way home Jaden told me he had to go potty and I didn't want to stop and take them both out of the van so I stopped and put the only pull-up I had on him under his underwear so that he didn't pee all over the carseat. I pulled over in a random parking lot to put the pull-up on and it tore and was unfixable but I put it on anyway to hold any pee it could. Luckily we made it home with dry underwear and a dry pull-up. Potty-training is a lot of work!

shots

Shots are painful. Not just where the nurse sticks you but the affects afterward are not fun. All 4 of us got flu shots today and Clay got a couple more too. We are all a little cranky and need extra sleep. Clay actually sat still on my lap for 2 hours while I did stuff. He never sits still so you know he wasn't feeling well. Jaden and I are also dealing with colds so the flu aches and pains we feel don't make it any better. It will all be gone soon. Thankfully God created us to sleep often and it is so nice to recuperate by sleeping.

two toddlers

So, I am pretty sure I have 2 toddlers right now which can be very difficult at times. I try and remind myself that others have more difficult situations than me but I tend to dwell on my own problems too much still. My two boys cause me to pray continually while I am at home with them. I suppose this is good but I am quite frustrated right now. It seems to rotate who is the naughtier boy day to day. Today is Jaden. I missed out on a half hour of time to get stuff done while Clay is napping because Jaden just wouldn't stay in his bed and kept being mischievious. Finally they are both napping but I am now regretting the time that I missed out on. I just pray now that God will help me let it go. Moving on...time for laundry and Bible study.

optimists

I am a pessimist. I wish I could say that I am a recovering pessimist but I am not there yet. I usually tell people that I am a realist because then I don't sound so depressed and I think it is more accurate. I describe my husband, Bryan, as an idealist but he is really an optimist if I am honest, well, sometimes he really is a wishful thinker.

For awhile now I think God has been trying to get a message of hope and joy through to my spirit but my pessimism/realism won't let it through. The question that has been plaguing me is:

Does God want all of His people to be optimists?

Should all of us be optimists? Why should we be optimists? How do we all become optimists? So there are more questions that go with that one main question but I keep coming back to that.

I think I know the answer. It is yes because our God, the God, is a God of hope and a God of never-ending possibilities.

Now I am just stuck on how to let God change me to be an optimist. I can use any advice I can get. I am sure there will be lots more prayer and molding going on in my life in this area. Stay tuned...

Washington DC

We got back from DC over a week ago but I never wrote anything about it so I will now. We had such a great time with friends in the city. Part of our heart will always be in the DC area. We had 5 dinners with different groups of people: newer couple friends, UMD friends, older couple friends, other UMD friends and church staff friends. We saw other friends during the day on Saturday but most days the kids and I just hungout. Bryan wasn't really impressed by either of the hospitals he interviewed with because the first one was so very disorganized and the second one wouldn't hire him part-time. We still hope to visit the DC area again but we don't think we will be moving there any time soon.

We were praying that God would let us know whether or not we should move back or seriously consider this an option. We really felt like it is not an option for now. We will keep pursuing Minneapolis for both of us to work part-time.

My job search is moving along but slower than I want it to be going. It is a lot of work to look for a job and I don't have much time to commit to it. More updates will be made as they develop but for now, my resume is done and I need to get some cover letters ready. I have 9 companies in the Minneapolis area that I am submitting my resume with online.