Sunday, October 5, 2008

feelings in Rochester

Today I took a spur of the moment trip to Rochester, MN with my boys (Bryan had to work). Jaden was invited to a birthday party for his favorite girl, Jenna, who just turned 4. Jaden has been asking to play with Jenna ever since we left Rochester so I felt like we should make the drive just for the party. The party was a blast and gave Jaden a much needed Jenna fix. We'll see how long it lasts. Clay had fun playing with all the big kids. I wish I had pictures but I forgot my camera.

The cutest, unprompted line of the day from Jaden: "Mom, I will share my toys with Kira (my cousin) and Jenna."

Driving back into Rochester without Bryan brought back a flood of feelings. We have already visited Rochester once since we moved but that was only a week after we left and it was as a family of 4. This time I was flooded with memories of life without Bryan when he was so busy with residency.

We have visited Washington DC a few times since we moved from there. I have only fond memories of that place. We have so many loved friends that will be friends forever in the DC area. I didn't think I had such negative feelings of Rochester because we have great friends there too and have lots of enjoyable memories there too.

I think today brought back feelings of loneliness and the sad feeling of doing life without Bryan. Life was really rough during residency and I don't want to relive those years for anything. I wouldn't wish that kind of life on anyone and have much better insight into the lives of doctors and their families.

Life was hard during residency and at times I felt like a single parent. But I do know that I was not and still am not a single parent. I was happily reminded of that today by meeting a single mom to two kids at the birthday party. My life was hard then but it could have been harder.

Today also reminded me of how good life is now. Bryan may still have to work some nights and weekends but he is around so much more. He can be the dad he has always wanted to be and he is even more of the husband I already knew he was.

1 comment:

Teresa said...

I am proud of you for making the trip with the boys by yourself :) I wish I could go back and see you all in MN! It is just so dang far!

I understand, totally, the feeling that you never want to relive a time. Josh and I lived 10 hours apart for all 4 years of college (and our engagement)--it was the toughest time in my life thus far. I try to look at it this way, whatever does not kill us makes us stronger! Think back to how much stronger you are now that you have handled your boys in such a GREAT way by yourself! You are a FANTASTIC MOM:)

If you see Beth or Lyn--hug them for me, eh?