disappointment

Disappointment is overwhelming me. We are not leaving for Honduras this Thursday. There is still a slim possibility that we will leave in another week or so but that possibility keeps decreasing.

There is too much political instability there for it to be safe for us right now. The US Embassy and State Department have made statements that all Americans should defer unnecessary travel to Honduras if possible. This may be lifted any time but probably not this week. I’m still hoping for next week. The ex-president Zelaya plans to return to Honduras on Thursday. I’m sure this will cause additional rioting and protesting no matter what is done. There are two sides to this controversy and both sides are unhappy.

There is more unrest in Honduras than the American media is publicizing. Some major roads and bridges are blocked, which happens frequently, by protestors so the missionaries are currently unable to get to the airport in La Ceiba. There are some short-term American travelers at Loma de Luz Hospital now that are unable to leave the country. They are trying again on Friday. We are not going down there if the airport is unreachable. We have also seen the violence in La Ceiba on YouTube videos. There was protesting, rioting and two random shots fired in the town square right in front of the hotel we will stay in our first night before we make our way by vehicle to the hospital.

The power has been off at times in the cities but that is not unusual. The power has been on at the hospital and they are pretty sheltered from the violence, rioting and protesting. The missionaries are only affected by it right now when they need to go to the nearest cities, La Ceiba or San Pedro Sula. There has been a curfew the last few days but not sure if it will get extended through tomorrow.

We are mostly packed and ready to go. We have about $2000 worth of medical supplies (Bryan’s estimate) that we have gathered together to take with us. We have 2 ½ weeks off from work and our flights are still going. We will not be on those flights and are in the process of deciding to delay our flights in the short-term or cash out our tickets for another trip. We will definitely return to Honduras but it is unknown when. We don’t know what we are going to do with our time off. Bryan can’t change his vacation days and has to use them now.

I have been so excited to go back to Honduras and help there and share my love with them; love that Jesus has given me for the Hondurans. I just want to help and serve the Hondurans and missionaries in any way that I can…and now I don’t get to do that. I am so disappointed. What are we going to do with our time off? Nothing we do will be as meaningful and fulfilling. Disappointment is settling in.

My heart and prayers are with the Hondurans and missionaries there.

honduras, to go or not to go

This has been a big day in the history of Honduras. The government and military removed the president by force today and took him to Costa Rica and he is now in Venezuela. The Supreme court states that he violated the law and it was right to remove him. The government voted to impeach him. The UN and US and other organizations state that it was a coup and was not right that the president was removed from power.

I am not sure who is right in this matter but all over our news, it states that the Honduran president should be back in power. I am not convinced of this. There was definitely wrong done on both sides by the government/military and by the president. The president was trying to have an illegal vote today to try to create a new constitution to keep him in office as president even though he has reached his term limit. The government/military probably used too much force and they used a letter of resignation by the president that was false and presented it to their congress. There are a lot of people at fault here.

Honduras is not in the best situation right now. There is definitely more military presence there and there is a loss of power in major cities and a curfew for Sunday and Monday nights. There have been relatively peaceful protests in the capital, Tegucigalpa, but other than that the citizens are calm. The Honduran people have been amazing through this whole instability of their government over the last few days. Let's hope it remains that way and rioting and looting don't breakout.

We are trying to get as much information from as many sources as possible to decide if we should still travel to Honduras this Thursday. We are talking to the missionaries there and one in the US right now. We are talking with our sending agency, World Medical Mission, who has people in San Pedro Sula and in the US. We are trying to read as many news sources as possible. And we are praying a lot. We are not sure yet what to do. We are still planning as if we will leave Thursday. We still have complications with our flight schedule that need to get worked out. We may delay our trip shortly or long term, but we will return. We love the people there and have developed great relationships with the missionaries there. They have an amazing organization that we hope to be apart of long term.

In case you are tracking the news, we are flying into San Pedro Sula and out of Tegucigalpa. The nearest city to where we are going is La Ceiba. The hospital is in Balfate, Colon (region) and is called Loma de Luz Hospital. It is along the nothern/eastern gulf coast and is quite a distance from the capital.

Please keep us in your prayers as we try to determine what is best for our family. There is always risk traveling to a third world/developing country but it seems there is increased risk right now. We know that God wants us to go there but we are not sure if this is the right time.

pray for Honduras--political unrest there

There has been a lot going on in Honduras with their president over the last few days. We have been asked to pray for political stability by the missionaries. The president is trying to write a new constitution in the hopes that he can remain the leader after the upcoming presidential election (later this year), even though he has reached the current constitutional term limit.

We have been notified by World Medical Mission (Samaritan's Purse) about the unrest in Honduras and the possibility of delaying our trip if things get worse or if the State Department does not recommend travel there. Right now, travel is still ok but at any moment things could change. The current president of Honduras is trying to have a vote to create a new constitution and the vote is scheduled to take place on Sunday, June 28th. The Honduran Supreme Court and Congress are trying to stop the vote from taking place but now the president has the support and military backing of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela.

Our in-country airline, TACA, has suspended all flights in Honduras as of June 24th. This is money related to TACA owing the government some fees--not related to political unrest. There are other airlines we can use but that is who we had already booked to fly from San Pedro Sula to La Ceiba. We are checking into this further.

You can read more about what is going on in Honduras here:
http://hondurasnews.com/

We will keep you posted about our trip but for now we are hoping and praying that things calm down there. I packed the boys clothes tonight but Bryan is definitely haven't anxiety about the trip. Pray for the Hondurans and our safety and guidance as to whether we should continue our trip as scheduled.

On a happy note, we have gotten about 7 large bags of medical supplies to take with us. We are very excited about what we are able to take. We got most of the smaller items on the hospital's medical needs list. We connected with 2 new organizations, 1 in Minneapolis and 1 in Fargo, that donated supplies for us to take. They have been very generous and we appreciate all they are doing to help us.

I am still praying for a miracle to be able to take an ultrasound machine, echocardiogram (ultrasound of heart) machine or portable x-ray machine with us. So far, we don't have any of these but these are what the hospital needs most. They have never had an echo and their ultrasound and x-ray machines are currently broken. It is very hard to practice medicine without these two machines. Please pray that these much needed machines get provided to Hospital Loma de Luz in miraculous ways!

Clay's Ball Party

So, it's been two weeks since Clay's party but I still wanted to get these pictures up here. He is now a big 3 year old and loves to tell people.

The boys had so much fun playing with about 100 balls in Grandma Vicki's (& Grandpa Cal's) living room. We had the party in Fargo, ND so we could make sure that family was there. We had a great time but I am really going to try to have a little kid party for Clay next year, when he turns 4. I definitely have some guilt about throwing Jaden two kid/friend parties already and Clay hasn't gotten any yet. It is good they can't remember that or care yet.

Here they are in the ball tent. They both were throwing and deflecting balls! A real treat to do this inside the house! Cousin Eli just wanted to smash everything included the tent and tunnel. They had a blast. We played some games with the balls and shot them through the hoop. There were balls of every kind.
Clay loved the bug toys he got from Grandma Judy and Grandpa Oscar. He got a magnifying glass, bug cage, binoculars and a bug net (the favorite). Clay was hilarious looking through the magnifying glass.
Clay is catching the rubber lizards on dad's face and loving it!
Clay was born one day after Uncle Eric's birthday so they got to share the cake for the party. My mom made a yummy lemon cake, as requested by Clay.
We spent many hours playing outside that weekend. Here are the 4 Jarabek cousins/grandsons: Clay, Jaden, Eli and

Jaden and the Soccer Ball Monkeys

The kids on Jaden's team decided on their name, the Soccer Ball Monkeys. Not just the monkeys and not just the soccer monkeys. They're name is the Soccer Ball Monkeys. It is hard to cheer for that team--quite a mouthful but I still did my fair share of yelling.

Jaden loved soccer. This was his first official sport and he loved it! It is done now for us. He wishes that it was still going. We might have to find an indoor soccer league in the fall or at least another sport for him to do.

Jaden loves sports of all kinds. I havn't found a sport yet that he doesn't want to do or play. He is super competitive, even with his teammates, which is quite typical at this age. Kids don't yet understand the importance of a team and working together to accomplish a goal. He liked to tell us that he was not the fastest player and would go on to tell us who was the fastest that week. He also would fill us in on the goals for the game. Who scored the most and how many he/she scored and which team won. He did all of this in his head because there was no score kept during the game. He definitely has a knack for sports and I am sure they will be a large part of our lives in the future. I love watching Jaden be so passionate about playing soccer!

Here is Jaden in action.
Jaden and his team with their completion medals. I think the medals allowed us to get a picture of all of the kids without anyone wanting to hide or runaway. Bryan was the coach and did an awesome job. Jaden loved having his dad as his coach.

Honduras, here we come again!

Here is our letter telling of our upcoming adventure to Honduras. Double click on the letter and it will open so that you can read it without a magnifying glass.

You know you work on weapons when... (#2)

Today there was a lot of conversation and reading of words related to death... not just death, but killing. There was the chart documenting the "killing probability" of Spider (the weapon I work on to upgrade and replace existing landmines and make them safer for civilians). And there was much discussion about "lethality." There was discussion about lethality of weapons that are intended to be lethal and there was discussion about lethality of weapons that are intended to be non-lethal.

Maybe this is why I came home a little depressed. Or maybe it is just because I am sleep deprived. It does however make me more motivated to work on my resume...maybe tonight.

my spiritual meditations

My piano teacher, Hestia, is a very opinionated woman. She randomly gives me spiritual lessons because she found out that I am a Christian. A few weeks back she told me that she was reading a book about Psalm 23 from the Bible. The psalm (poem/song) starts out: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." I have been thinking about those words for the last 4 weeks. Hestia told me there is so much to those words and she is right. I am still meditating on them.

Today, I found some new words to meditate. I love the song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. We sang a new verse that I hadn't heard until today (at Bryan's parents' church) so I looked it up in their hymn book and they had an American Indian version of the song, very interesting. I am taken by the first few words of the song in English. "Come thou fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing thy grace." Love that second line, "Tune my heart to sing thy grace." That is my prayer today.

Clay is 3!

Today Clay turned 3 years old. Wow, the last three years went by quickly. That is not to say that it was easy or that it wasn't memorable because it was both difficult and memorable. Raising two small children has definitely gotten easier over this last year and I am so happy to have boys that are 3 and 4 years old.

Clay had a great time celebrating his birthday at school on Wednesday. Bryan got to be a part of the birthday gathering and took this pictures while Clay was walking the Earth around the Sun (candle) to represent the three times he has circled the Sun in his life.


Today we celebrated by making pancakes. Clay wanted to make the recipe in Jaden's Sesame Street cookbook because the picture has a pancake in the shape of a three. They were the yummiest pancakes I have ever made and they were even better because we ate them with strawberries and whip cream. Clay got to enjoy a three-shaped pancake and Jaden got a four-shaped pancake.

We spent the whole afternoon outside today so I could mow the lawn, which did take the whole afternoon. Once Bryan got up from sleeping all day (he is working overnights), we had dinner and then Clay got to find his hidden present outside. Here he is with his three-wheel scooter. He loves the neighbor's similar scooter so we are hoping this will be a hit with him.


Saturday we will have another day of celebrating Clay with a birthday party in Fargo with lots of family.

shots hurt

Today Bryan and I had to get one more shot before we go to Honduras again in a couple of weeks. The boys, thankfully, don't need any more shots (after the 20, or so, shots our family had to get last year). Jaden asked me today, "Mom, are you going to cry?" Bryan said that was a very good question. I said no. I will take a deep breath to get through it.

Well, I took a lot of deep breaths today. I almost passed out! That has never happened to me before. The shot hurt a lot. I wanted to cry but Jaden was staring at me and the needle the whole time, so I held it together. I really tried to keep my arm relaxed and thought that I did. Not sure what caused all of the pain. I didn't cry but did take lots of deep breaths. After the nurse was done, she started getting ready for Bryan and I was feeling very nauseous. I thought, no big deal. I will get through this. Then I started getting dizzy. I said outloud, "I am not feeling well." The nurse quickly finished Bryan and left the room, telling Bryan to have me sit in the recliner. I then began giving an account of everything I was feeling.

"I am really naseous."
"I am losing my hearing."
"I can't hear."
Nurse comes in with juice. I put my feet up and within a minute, I am doing much better. She says, you are getting your color back. I didn't know I lost my color. Now I realize what just happened. I almost passed out! Jaden is begging for my juice and asking me what is 'passed out. Bryan thinks it is hilariously that I explained what was happening to me. It was so weird that it all happened slow enough for me to realize something was going wrong. Glad I didn't pass out but it did wipe me out for awhile. And now my left arm still hurts.

my boys are getting old

I know I sound like a broken record but they are getting so big and growing up so much. Clay is turning 3 on Friday. On Wednesday, he gets to have a little celebration at school (because they only go to school on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday). Instead of taking treats, like candy, cupcakes or cake, Clay decided to he wanted to give a little present to each kid. To go along with his ball-themed birthday party upcoming on Saturday, he picked out bouncey balls made to look like mini basketballs, baseballs, soccer balls and footballs. He also picked out his favorite snack to share, animal crackers. He is taking his favorite book right now, Curious George and the Rocket (makes my heart sing). I am sending three pictures of him to school for the special birthday gathering that they have at the end of the morning school/work session. The pictures are of Clay at birth, at 1 year and at 2 years old. The birthday gathering sounds pretty cool. I wish I could be there. The teacher, Mr. Jason, lights a candle and walks around the gathering of kids (sitting on the ellipse, not an oval as I mistakingly called it) three times to represent the three times that Clay has circled the sun while living on this Earth three years. Pretty neat and hopefully it will help Clay and the other kids grasp what a year means.

cute singing kids

On Friday night, the boys' school had their Spring Program for friends and family to watch them perform some songs and see the 6 year old kids graduate that are moving onto first grade at another school.

I have never enjoyed watching kids sing so much. I bribed the boys with tootsie rolls if they did a good job singing. I think it helped. I am not above bribing my kids. There was a good possibility that they wouldn't sing so I went with bribery to see a good show.

It worked and they sang like no one was watching. They sang their hearts out and knew all the motions to the songs too. They were so cute to watch. Bryan and I couldn't wipe the grins off our faces. When Clay wasn't doing any motions, he was digging for gold in his pockets. He didn't find any but just kept digging. The kids little nervous mannerisms are so cute to watch.

Clay digging away!
Jaden is doing a very good job of holding his drumsticks quietly. He refused the bells and asked for the sticks. He sure loves sticks of all kinds!
Clay ringing his heart out! Ring those bells! He was strategically placed between two mothering little girls that kept him inline--so cute!
Miss Katy (assistant teacher) and Mr. Jason (lead teacher)
The kids singing Itsy Bitsy Spider in Spanish.

I love their school. I think they take very good care of my boys. As I get to know their teachers more, I like them more. The kids are learning a little Spanish and French. They have a music teacher that comes in weekly to play piano and sing with the kids. The music teacher is the daughter of my piano teacher and uses the same methods I am learning and passing onto my boys.

The kids were so cute at the program. They all know each other very well. It was funny to watch the parents, who don't know each other, observe the kids interacting so easily.

You know you work on weapons when... (#1)

someone leaves the last three issues of National Defense magazine on your desk and thinks you won't mind. Hey, maybe you'll even enjoy them!

Work was better than expected today. Got caught up on things but the best parts of my day involved my boys. They were nice to me this morning and were pleasantly helpful while I got them ready to separate from me at school. They seemed right at home at their school. I really enjoyed that. I also looked forward to picking them up from school. They were a joy to have along for the long, traffic-filled ride home.

home from a great vacation

We are back in Minnesota! We had an awesome vacation and saw lots of friends. The boys got to play in the sand and the water on Saturday and Sunday and loved it. They wanted to go there again on Monday.

We had a fun barbecue on Saturday for Dan and Laurie's wedding and got to meet everyone going to the wedding. We played volleyball and hungout on the beach at Sandy Point State Park in Annapolis, MD.

Saturday night we had an awesome party with lots of friends, hosted by our family/friends, Brian and Kim. We got to see lots of people that we love and miss. It was a lot of fun.

On Sunday, Dan and Laurie had a beautiful beach wedding and reception at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation. The food was incredible and the location was amazing! It was so great and meaningful to celebrate with lifelong friends.

We got to explore Annapolis on Monday and see more friends.

We had a wonderful time and it was quite relaxing. I did come back tired, which I did not want to do. We stayed up late many nights talking with our hosts, Ryan and Heather, and their other houseguests, Ian and Bekah. The late nights were fun but slightly exhausting.

It was so nice to be on vacation and now I have to go back to work for the next three days. I need to get a good night's sleep to prepare and build up for the work I will need to get done. I am not excited to go back to work right now. I need some sleep to not think about it right now.