Wednesday, August 8, 2012

marriage is worth the effort

Bryan and I recently got back from an 8 night trip to the Big Island, Hawaii, Hawaii! It was the trip of a lifetime! We left the boys in Fargo, ND with their grandparents and other family members and we had 11 days without them! That was the longest we have ever left them. I missed them more than I expected. It was so great to be reunited with them.

We decided to take a big trip over our anniversary this year because we knew we needed to do something special to boost our marriage and continue the recuperation from foster care. We celebrated our 14th anniversary on August 1st. We hadn't initially planned to do something big for year 14 but after everything we have been through in the last year, we knew we needed it. We talked about going many different places but in the end, we chose Hawaii. This was Bryan's year to plan the excursion since we take turns every other year. (Next year I get to plan a trip to London for our 15th anniversary, which has been the hope for many years.) Bryan planned an amazing trip to Hawaii filled with lots of snorkeling and volcanoes, along with some great places to stay. We did a lot on this trip but it was a long trip so it didn't seem too filled up.

We started out the trip exploring some beaches, swimming/snorkeling with sea turtles and watching the manta rays at night. We took a helicopter ride (checked off of my life goal list) over an active volcano, Kilauea, and got to see lots of red, hot lava. We did some hiking and driving around volcanoes. We explored the rainforest and saw many waterfalls. We played on black sand beaches and hiked to a green sand beach. We spent time relaxing on white sand beaches, surrounded by lava rock. We saw more lava rock than we thought possible. We also took a tour up Mauna Kea (inactive volcano) for a beautiful view of the sunset surrounded by gigantic telescopes. While there we enjoyed staring at the stars in the clear sky and high elevation (14,000 ft) and looking through an 11" telescope at some things we had never seen before in the night sky. We also included some local shopping and a snorkel/boat trip on our trip. It truly was an amazing trip!

Bryan and I have returned refreshed and loving life. There is no doubt that this boosted our marriage and made it better. This trip was not easy, especially for Bryan who did the planning, and it wasn't cheap. We invested a lot of time and money into this trip but it was all to make our marriage better. Our investment is paying off. We are huge proponents of taking time away from your kids to keep your marriage heading in the right direction.

After this trip, we are even more convinced that our marriage is worth investing in to make it better. Our marriage is great but it has also been a lot of work. We have been working at it for 14 years. We have learned that if we keep working at our marriage to improve it, then it won't go bad. We want to keep things moving in the right greater love, intimacy and commitment and further away from separation and divorce. There have been times when we haven't put the effort into our marriage and it showed. We both are fully aware that marriage isn't easy. It is not easy to stay in love and keep the romance alive. A great marriage takes effort and it is so worth it! Take some creative...add a little spark back into your marriage!

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