We are home but getting home injured my attitude. Yesterday morning I had a bad attitude and a negative perspective that lasted all day. I'd like to think it was justified but really it wasn't. We left our hotel at 4:45am to arrive 2 hours before our flight, so I was tired which was a bad start. On the up side we were ready to be going home. We had a great time serving and helping in Honduras but were spent and ready to get back to our routine of life.
At the airport in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, I requested bag tags and had to wait. I wasn't sure the attendant heard my request or cared about it but I knew it was important because they have tagged our bags wrong on past flights. After taking her time she got me tags for me to fill out. Then she was ready to check our bags but there weren't tags on them yet so we were already at risk of someone taking them before they were ready. I had the first one tagged and the luggage handler grabbed the bag. I gave the workers a frustrated look because it wasn't tagged with the airline bar code yet. I told Bryan to not let them take the bags until they were tagged. He helped. After the bar code tags were all printed, the same female attendant went to tag our bags and grabbed the wrong bag behind her. I let out a frustrated sigh and rolled my eyes. I corrected her and was thankful that we chose to stand there and watch. Our bags would have been tagged wrong again. She didn't even care that she almost tagged the wrong bag. It seems as though they don't care if they lose anyone's luggage. They need better customer service in Honduras and respect for people's stuff.
I know I overreacted but my day was already headed in the wrong direction. Our ticket had the wrong gate number on it so we waited in the wrong boarding line to get on our plane. Thankfully our plane was still boarding but it is so frustrating to not have any signs telling you which gate is going where. Then while waiting nicely in line we were rudely told to wait in a straight line "like this!" which we were already doing. I wanted to respond with, "Americans know how to wait in lines," implying Hondurans are the ones that need to work that. I am glad I bit my tongue but the thought was already released in my head. I needed to start letting stuff go but instead of doing that, I just felt like I was ready to be back in the U.S. even more.
My attitude was poor and I didn't change it. I can make excuses of being tired, exhausted, spent from working hard for 2 weeks but in the end I am a messed up person who makes bad choices. People may think highly of the work our family does in Honduras but we are no better than anyone else. We still screw up and are rude to people and say things we regret. I know deeply that I need God's forgiveness. He is the only one that can refresh and renew me. I thank Him often for his grace and his many many chances at trying to live a life that is full of love.
I am so happy to be home, more than I can ever remember in the past. I needed the comforts of home today. My boys needed the comfort of routine. I needed rest and sleep and a break from a few projects.
Our work in Honduras was worth the extra effort but it truly was extra effort at times. We love investing in people there. We enjoy helping out the missionaries and making new friendships with Hondurans. We gave of our time and efforts and used our talents. We will do it again and again. We will go back next year. But right now I am appreciating life in my home in Bloomington.