Tuesday, September 6, 2011

first day of school...deep breath

Bryan and I just dropped our boys off at separate schools. The boys are now beginning their period of separation, ha ha. They have been in school together the last 2 years and 8 months. Before that Jaden was in two preschools without Clay but neither of them really remember that, other than what we tell them. Jaden is transitioning from a Montessori school to our local public school for 1st grade. We just met his teacher this morning and she seems great! She made a perfect first impression. Clay is transitioning to a new teacher at the same Montessori school (without Jaden and his old friends that left for Kindergarten) for his last year there. He is now a big kindergartner and probably the only one left at his school. This whole school situation seems like one big trial to me. I still have lots of questions remaining. Was it worth it to send Jaden to a Montessori school for kindergarten? Will it be too much work to drive the boys to separate schools? Should Clay just go to a traditional kindergarten and be at the same school with Jaden? Is there really that much difference in my local schools? Did we choose to live in the right place for the right school?...Who knows! I may never know the answers to any of these questions and hopefully I will be ok with that. Sometimes I wish I had a guarantee that my kids will turn out alright. That they will get the things I want to instill in them. That my efforts will pay off. That they won't end up in jail or living in the streets. But if you know me, you know that I have way higher expectations for my kids...probably too high and that will be my lifelong struggle...too high of expectations for myself and for everyone I know. I need to take a deep breath, lots of deep breaths. Slow down and take one day at a time. But time seems to be zooming by. It feels like fall and the sun is rising later and setting earlier. Time is getting away from me. Take another deep breath.

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