my sister

I am heading back to Bloomington today to see my boys and husband after being gone for 6 days. I am very fortunate that I got to help my sister, Roxanne, and her family (Tom, Gregory and Joshua) this week. Roxanne got out of the hospital on Sunday night when I arrived so we got to spend the week together at her house.

Roxanne has recovered quite well. She has some bruising from shots to her stomach and is short of breath sometimes but the pain seems to be getting better. She is one tough woman. I know that most moms are but she was a trooper while taking care of her kids in and out of the hospital. It is amazing what a mom is trained to do after having a kid. We can go through pain and sickness and still make sure that our kids are fed and clothed. Roxanne has reminded me of how true this is.

Roxanne and Tom are both tough people. Both have been in pain at various times throughout the week. Tom had invasive knee surgery a few weeks ago. He is not back to his fully capable self yet so I am glad I could help him out too.

I tried to jump in and help whenever I could with loading and unloading the dishwasher, changing diapers, getting kids dressed, feeding kids, folding clothes and going up and down stairs to get a variety of items. I also helped get some stuff ready for Gregory's 3 year old birthday party tomorrow.

I love my family and love my sister and her family. I want to be a sister and daughter that helps out whenever possible. I know they would have survived without me but I am happy that I got to make their load a little lighter by being there.

family medical issues

I am in Colorado Springs helping my sister, Roxanne, and her family. She got out of the hospital yesterday after being admitted with multiple blood clots in her lungs. She is still in pain and recovering so it is nice to be here to help with my 4 month old nephew, Joshua, and my almost 3 year old nephew, Gregory. Gregory's birthday is tomorrow so it will be fun to be here for that.

It is very rare for someone as young as my sister (4 years older than me) to get blood clots in her lungs but she has two risk factors: had a baby less than 6 months ago and was on birth control (Yaz which has a higher incidence of clots than other BC pills). I am learning that if you have pain when you breathe, it can be very dangerous. She had pain with every breath, not just deep breaths.

We are all very thankful that she knew that the pain was too much to bear and went into the ER. Things could have been much worse but we are very thankful to God for getting her through this.

I will be here till Friday when I fly home. My husband has been amazing through all of this and has the kids by himself this week. We are getting help from school, my brother and his family, a babysitter and a friend in order to get through this week. We are very grateful to everyone who is helping out while I am out of town.

meal group

We have a couples Meal Group that meets every Wednesday night, sometimes at our house and usually led by Bryan and me. Last night it was our turn to host. Bryan made the majority of dinner which was a big feat for him because he doesn't like to cook. He made his first turkey! It turned out pretty well but he is even better at mashed potatoes. We had corn and rolls too. I made the gravy and one of my favorite desserts, carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I am looking forward to dessert leftovers tonight. The cake turned out awesome! I love that recipe even though I only make it about once a year.

We love our meal group. It is not just a small group with our church. We get to share life over meals every Wednesday. I love those couples. They are our family in Minneapolis.

resting is hard

This morning I went to a women's gathering at my church, Upper Room Community. I was looking forward to the speaker who makes the Bible come alive as we discuss it together. Before her talk all of the women were divided into small groups of 6-10 women. We had a few warm-up questions to help us get to know each other. One of the questions asked was, "If you could have a super-power, what would it be?" I have had this question asked of me before but do not remember what I have answered in the past. Someone else answered first as I was thinking of my answer. I had just bitten into my muffin when my answer just came to me. I had to get it out. There was a pause in conversation and so with food in my mouth, I blurted out clumsily, "I would not want to have to sleep."

This is so telling of me. I was embarrassed after I said it because of the food still in my mouth but probably more so because of what my words say about me. I always feel like there is more to do in this life. It would be so great if I didn't have to sleep. I could get so much done. I clearly have a problem relaxing, as my husband likes to remind me. Why do I feel such a weight to get more done? I really do want to live the best life possible, that God will allow me to live. I want to live every moment like it's my last and squeeze every last little bit of fun, emotion and conversation out of life. I hope that I am doing everything with God's strength and not to impress God or others. I know that there is nothing I can do to get God to love me more.

Somehow I need to realize the benefit of rest and relaxation and rejuvenation and that God commands us to have that in our lives. Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. Work 6 days and rest on the 7th. What does that look like in our lives today when we work 5 days or 3 days at a job, and take care of our houses and kids? I am still trying to figure that out.

helping the soldiers

Today was the first day in the last 15 months at work that I truly felt like I was working on a weapon to help a soldier stay alive in Afghanistan. We got feedback on the weapon that it needs to be able to shoot farther distances because the soldiers are getting fired at with rocket propelled grenades at too close of ranges.

Bryan thinks I am working on a pretty cool weapon but I am not in agreement. I never thought I would be working on a gun (weapon) and bullets (ammunition).

The ammunition was #46 on the Time magazine best inventions of 2009. You can read about it here by clicking on 46. The Smart Bullet.

On a side note, I also worked on the best invention of 2009, according to Time. I spent 2 months working on the Ares 1 rocket to replace the Space Shuttle, which is why I took the job I have now. Too bad it didn't last longer.

You know you work on weapons when...(#7)

...you are told that you will soon be calculating Pi (subscript i), which is the PROBABILITY OF INCAPACITATION! Really!?! This is great motivation to look for another job.

I am working on the most clearly lethal weapon in my repertoire yet. It is a quite powerful and innovative gun. Jaden thinks it is pretty cool, but tries to sympathize by telling me to quit and stay home. Clay feels my agony and thinks I should get another job.

The boys were quite taken by watching a Star Wars cartoon with a friend in Honduras and told me about "a bubble that protects you from guns." Then they asked me if I could make a bubble gun. They think my job is pretty cool even though I don't.

Easter boys

Here are my sweet, yet rambunctious boys while refusing to pose for pictures.

We had lots of fun this Easter, including 3 egg hunts (probably more to come around our house this week). The boys love hiding and finding anything. We were asked more than a few times if Jesus is still on the cross and, "Where is Jesus now?" I really think the boys just liked hearing us tell them that Jesus is in heaven and all around us.

layoffs and a new manager

There has been a lot of transition at my workplace the last 2 days. Not good transition. Yesterday 36 people were laid off. There was no warning and no discussion prior to this. The individuals were told to pack of their stuff and leave. The building was drastically affected by this. People were sad and half-moping and half-wondering what is going on.

I wondered why him and not me. I felt bad for my coworkers with no income. I personally new and worked with 2 of the guys. I feel for them but it seems like there is not much I can do.

Yesterday I was also told that I would be getting a new manager and that engineering was getting reorganized. My manager would still have a job but just a different one. I was worried about this because my manager hired me and she is very understanding of me working part-time. She has given me a lot of flexibility that I don't want to lose. Today I found out who my new manager is and it is the best possible option so that is good.

Hopefully next week will be calmer but I am doubtful because I am stuck in a tug-of-war between two programs that want me to work for them and each wants me to only work on their program. We will see...