"God I look to you..."

"...I won't be overwhelmed." Great lyrics keep echoing in my head from a few songs lately.

In 2015 Bryan and I each lost a grandparent. Despite them living long lives, they have not been easy losses to bare.

Bryan's greatly loved Grandpa Victor Dracy passed away December 19, 2015 at 85 years old. This made for a very difficult Christmas season. Everyone is still adapting to life without Victor, especially Bryan's grandma after being married 60 years.

On May 1, 2015, my Grandma Alma Vilhauer passed away after 95 years. This was a hard loss for me. She was my favorite grandma, the one I shared some similarities. I enjoy having lots of memories with her but really wish I would have made time for more while she was still healthy. A year after her passing, I still wish I had more good times with her. I treasure the time and memories I got to have with her.

While processing the deaths of two dearly loved grandparents, I have listened to three songs on repeat many times. The meaningful songs are by Sara Groves, one of my favorite singer-songwriters. Below are the three songs with a shortened version of the lyrics. I am listening to the songs once again. They soothe my heart and mind as I remember my grandma's death one year ago.

"What Do I Know"

I have a friend who just turned eighty-eight

and she just shared with me that she's afraid of dying.

I sit here years from her experience

and try to bring her comfort.

I try to bring her comfort

But what do I know? What do I know?

She grew up singing about the glory land,

and she would testify how Jesus changed her life.

It was easy to have faith when she was thirty-four,

but now her friends are dying, and death is at her door.

And what do I know? What do I know?

She lost her husband after sixty years,

and as he slipped away she still had things to say.

Death can be so inconvenient.

You try to live and love. It comes and interrupts.

And what do I know? What do I know?

Oh, what do I know? Really, what do I know?

Well, I don't know that there are harps in heaven,

Or the process for earning your wings.

And, I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,

Or any of those things.

But I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,

and from what I know of him, that must be pretty good.

Oh, I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,

and from what I know of him, that must be very good.

"Going Home"

I've been feeling kind of restless

I've been feeling out of place

I can hear a distant singing

A song that I can't write

And it echoes of what I'm always trying to say

There's a feeling I can't capture

It's always just a prayer away

I want to know the ending

Things hoped for but not seen

But I guess that's the point of hoping anyway

Of going home, I'll meet you at the table

Going home, I'll meet you in the air

And you are never too young to think about it

Oh, I cannot wait to be home

I'm confined by my senses

To really know what you are like

You are more than I can fathom

And more than I can guess

And more than I can see with you in sight

But I have felt you with my spirit

I have felt you fill this room

And this is just an invitation

Just a sample of the whole

And I cannot wait to be going home

Face to face, how can it be

Face to face, how can it be

Face to face, how can it be

Cuz this is just an invitation

Just a sample of the whole

And I cannot wait to be going home

"He's Always Been Faithful"

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find

The power and comfort of God's hand in mine

Season by season I watch Him, amazed

In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain

He did not recycle to bring me gain

I can't remember one single regret

In serving God only, and trusting His hand

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

This is my anthem, this is my song

The theme of the stories I've heard for so long

God has been faithful, He will be again

His loving compassion, it knows no end

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful

He's always been faithful to me

Many of our memories get stored in pictures as well as our heads. These are some pictures I will keep near for awhile.