staying at-home

The boys have some sort of virus/cold so we were at home today. Whenever it happens that I know I am not planning to leave the house for a whole day, I think I can handle it but it never ends up being as easy or fun as I hoped. The kids were sick, cranky, whiny and very needy today so that drained me and I didn't get anything accomplished other than sitting with them most of the day. We managed to destroy any clean areas of our house today. I was really growing to appreciate how clean and picked up everything has been since our house went on the market last week.

It makes it even tougher because Bryan is working overnight tonight. We would usually go have dinner with him at the hospital because it helps pass the time and helps the kids not miss their daddy so much. We couldn't do that tonight so I really am low on adult conversation.

Thursday is not looking much better because we will again be home all day. Bryan should be home in the afternoon but he will most likely just go right to bed because he probably will get about 1-3 hours of sleep tonight and will be exhausted.

I am planning to go to our couples small group Bible study tomorrow night so that will be a nice treat. We don't have our normal babysitter and I called everyone on our list to get a replacement and have no one. I think tired Bryan will stay home with the kids. Hopefully he is ok with that.

I don't know why it is so challenging for me to stay at home in my house for a day. It really does depress me. I keep wishing and hoping that I can enjoy it but it just isn't happening. I found myself thinking about how bad of an outlook on life I have just a couple hours ago and then realized again that staying at home all day is really bad for my mood. I did pray about it and that did seem to help me to stop focusing on my pessimistic point of view. I know I am extremely sleep deprived right now so that contributes to me not enjoying my day too. I have been up late doing things for the house for the last week and a half and then the last two nights the boys have been awake 3-5 times at night so I haven't slept well. I need to get to sleep now. Maybe I will make it to bed before 10pm but that never seems to happen. Tonight I am really going to try because I know I could use 8 to 10 hours of good sleep. I should probably already be in bed because the kids were both awake at 6am this morning. Goodnight.